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“To know your future you must know your past.” A few years ago, I visited the Harvard University bookstore and found a book that introduced me to the wisdom of a Roman Emperor named Marcus Aurelius, who was born in 121 AD, became the ruler of Rome in 161 AD, and died in 180 AD.
In this book, I was happy to discover that even back then, enlightened (self-aware) individuals recognized that beliefs are the cornerstone of our worldview, influencing our thoughts, actions, and overall well-being on a daily basis. Today, let’s gather strength from the ancient teachings of Stoicism, The Influence of Beliefs: “The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.” Marcus Aurelius
Beliefs shape our perception of reality, determining how we interpret and respond to external events. We can cultivate inner peace and resilience by cultivating beliefs aligned with reason, virtue, and acceptance of the present moment without stewing in resentment that life should have turned out differently. Believing, for example, “that life is unfair,” breeds feelings of anger, self-pity, and sorrow, which robs one of the energy to steer your life in a desirable direction beginning from where you are now. Believing that “I have the power to improve my situation, regardless of past or current circumstances” fuels one with passion, drive, and grit to do whatever it takes to triumph. The Power of Acceptance: “Some things are within our power, while others are not.” Epictetus
Stoicism emphasizes the importance of accepting what is beyond our control and focusing on what is within our power. By adopting beliefs centered on acceptance and resilience, we can navigate life’s challenges with greater calm and composure, especially in difficult situations. Living Virtuously: “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” – Marcus Aurelius
Fear can be so intense that it shuts down even the possibility of experiencing life in a more fulfilling way. As someone who has battled fear, anxiety, and feelings of impending doom for much of my life, I understand deeply the importance of charging forward into the unknown, especially when you are scared to death that it won’t turn out well. As an adult, I’ve mentally trained myself to take one more step forward, even when I didn’t think I had it in me to do so. If I set a goal of doing ten pushups, I force myself to do 11 or 12. When I can’t write anymore, I make myself write one more sentence. It’s not because I want to feel tough or powerful. Instead, it comes from feeling ashamed for not pushing through my fears as a kid. Instead, I always looked for a way to avoid confrontation. Or found someone or something else to blame rather than being accountable because I didn’t want to get in trouble. Of course, that stems from me getting hit with a belt at home or a paddle in elementary school as a 10-year-old and being bullied all the way through high school. As a sophomore, I joined the swim team and began early morning and 3-hour afternoon practices in a swimming pool that wasn’t heated. Sure, it made me stronger, and numerous positives came from being on the team. Yet, I remember one practice where my shoulder started hurting. Eventually, it would turn into tendonitis, but I started pretending that it hurt more than it did so I could get out of doing 100 more laps. Because of that, my brain formed the unconscious belief that I was a fraud. Two years later, during an awards ceremony, I received the PHD award (Pride, Hustle, Desire.) I didn’t understand why I had won that award and felt ashamed because “I didn’t deserve it.” That belief caused so many problems in my life and left me with imposter syndrome for way too long. If you have childhood beliefs that are holding you back as an adult, use these steps to free yourself from the past. Action Steps: Practice Mindfulness: Cultivate awareness of your beliefs and their impact on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Mindfulness meditation can be a valuable practice for this. Question Your Assumptions: Challenge any limiting beliefs or irrational fears that may be holding you back. Use the Stoic practice of “negative visualization,” where you imagine a worst-case scenario but then stand in your power and turn the situation into an advantage. This approach prepares you for adversity. Cultivate Virtue: Reflect on the Stoic virtues of wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance. Identify areas where you can cultivate these virtues in your daily life. Practice Gratitude: Cultivate gratitude for the present moment and the opportunities for growth and learning it presents. Keep a gratitude journal to regularly reflect on what you are thankful for. Remember that painful events are often the greatest teachers. Final Takeaway: We cultivate inner peace, resilience, and a sense of purpose by aligning our beliefs with reason, virtue, acceptance of the present moment, and awareness that we can change our interpretation of current events whenever we wish. Let us embrace the wisdom of Stoicism and harness the power of beliefs to live lives of greater fulfillment, meaning, and joy. PS, Below are a few more of my favorite quotes from Emperor Marcus. “If it is not right, do not do it, if it is not true, do not say it.” “Think of the life you have lived until now as over and, as a dead man, see what’s left as a bonus and live it according to Nature. Love the hand that fate deals you and play it as your own, for what could be more fitting?” “In your actions, don’t procrastinate. In your conversations, don’t confuse. In your thoughts, don’t wander. In your soul, don’t be passive or aggressive. In your life, don’t be all about business.” “It’s time you realized that you have something in you more powerful and miraculous than the things that affect you and make you dance like a puppet.” “The best revenge is not to be like your enemy.” “If anyone can refute me—show me I’m making a mistake or looking at things from the wrong perspective—I’ll gladly change. It’s the truth I’m after, and the truth never harmed anyone.” “Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.” “It never ceases to amaze me: We all love ourselves more than other people but care more about their opinion than our own.” “Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day . . . The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.” Start by going through my free training program for using the power of your mind to create your life by design. |