In my coaching and consulting profession, I do a lot of listening. Because of my skills as a Hypnotism and Neuro-Linguistics instructor, I’ve also learned to pay particular attention to the types of words and phrases people use to describe situations in their lives. There’s a part of your brain, the subconscious, that monitors your daily self-talk and uses what you say to filter how you think, feel, and behave each moment. Thus, if you wish to improve any area of your life, start by using transformational language to describe whatever you’re experiencing.
Suppose your Subconscious Mind hears a consistent pattern or repetition of words and phrases. In that case, it will act upon them like a hypnotic suggestion, causing you to experience the world in that particular way. For example, if you continually repeat to yourself, “I never remember people’s names,” how do you think your brain will respond?
Odds are you’ll be terrible at recalling the names of people you meet. Is it because your brain doesn’t work, or there’s something wrong with your memory? No. Your brain is more powerful than the best computer money can buy. Instead, either remembering people’s names isn’t a high priority for you (which is a belief), or your subconscious will distract you at the moment the person speaks his/her name because “never remembering” aligns with what you’ve been telling yourself.
I used name recognition as an example because it’s what I told myself all the time in the past. Yet, when I upgraded my choice of words, my memory suddenly improved. I began repeating to myself, “I easily remember names. I am amazingly good at recalling names. My mind is like a steel trap when it comes to remembering names!” Because I used transformational language to:
1) Focus on the desired outcome,
2) State what I wanted in the present tense (as though it was already this way),
3) Concentrated on solution-oriented words rather than on what I was trying to avoid (I’m great at remembering names VS I’m better at not forgetting names), I could pay attention and recall names easier and more accurately.
Transformational language includes using empowering words that evoke feelings of calm, confidence, and resiliency. I write a great deal about this on Pages 67 and 213 of my book, Get Out Of Your Way! Those chapters suggest using solution-oriented language rather than problem-alleviation words to elevate the quality of your daily life.
Words like fear, hate, anger, resentment, worry, and pain release cortisol (a stress hormone) in the blood and increase physical, mental, and emotional tension. Whether you say, “I’m feeling less stressed” or “I’m not worrying as much as I normally do,” your brain still hears the words “stressed” and “worrying” and responds accordingly. Please read the following sentence and notice what word stands out. “You aren’t going to feel any pain.” Pain, right? Imagine this. I’m your customer, and we just finished a transaction. I say, “Thank you.” You reply, “No problem” or “No worries.” What are the two words that pop out in those sentences? Problems. Worries. Do you want your customer to think about problems and worries while looking at you?
Transformational Language Examples:
No Problem VS My Pleasure
Less Stressed VS More Calm
No Pain VS More Comfortable
Busy VS In Demand
Tired VS Conserving Energy
Anxious VS Energized!
Not bad VS Pretty Good
FEAR VS Feeling Excited And Ready (Juice That Prepares Me For Action)
Overwhelmed VS Surrounded by Opportunity
Rushed VS State of Acceleration
Pissed Off VS Peeved (try saying that without smiling)
About 33 years ago, I took a summer job selling “Home Cleaning Systems” (vacuum cleaners.) My manager, Carl, would greet me in the morning by saying, “How ya feeling, Tim?” I’d typically respond with, “Fine,” and he’d always reply with, “No. You’re feeling F A N T A S T I C!”
After several days of this, when Carl asked how I was feeling, I’d reply, “Fantastic!” At first, it felt silly. But after a couple of weeks, it dawned on me that I was feeling fantastic! My sales were increasing, and I felt more optimistic, mainly because the words I used to describe my day had become upbeat and encouraging. Decades later, when someone asks how I’m feeling, I think of Carl saying, “FANTASTIC!” and it makes me smile. Try it for yourself, and two weeks from now, I bet you’ll be feeling the same way.
Order your copy of Get Out Of Your Way (3rd Ed, 2021) here.