Anxiety is a dreadful emotion that turns your stomach into knots as worst-case scenarios play out in the theatre of your mind like horror movies. Running out of money, getting a divorce, battling illness, family turmoil, unfair circumstances, and even being homebound over the last year can all keep you tossing and turning in the middle of the night.
With so much uncertainty around covid vaccines, wearing masks, and social/economic volatility, the rate of those struggling with anxiety is on the rise. However, anxiety and depression rates were climbing before the pandemic struck. Feeling anxious is how the human brain expresses “not feeling safe.” Whether the threats are real or imagined doesn’t matter because the upsetting emotional reaction is the same.
Many describe themselves as “worriers,” with the underlying belief being that “If I worry enough about something, I’ll prevent the problem from happening.” This philosophy causes needless emotional suffering because 90% of the things people worry about don’t happen. Would you take a pill that gives you a migraine because you might have a headache tomorrow?
Instead of mentally preparing for any situation, we visualize ourselves being powerless, weak, and defenseless. If your brain is powerful enough to make you feel scared when you’re not in actual danger, you can also use your mental power to prepare you when dire situations arise. If you wished to improve your ability to make successful free throws in basketball, would you a) Imagine missing every shot or b) Imagine making every shot? The answer is “b” since whatever you focus on most tends to become your reality.
Now that you understand the importance of focusing on desired positive outcomes, the following 2-Step Shifting technique will help you move from anxiety to resiliency in under 60 seconds.
Step One: Power Breathe
Before shifting your focus, you must get yourself into a more resourceful and receptive mental and emotional state. Otherwise, you’ll resist changing your perspective or argue with yourself about whether what you’re doing is a waste of time. Fear doesn’t want you to think about anything else, so we have to get ourselves into a more open state of mind to experience more empowering ideas and feelings. The quickest way to accomplish this is by activating your brain’s Relaxation Response.
The Relaxation Response is a system in your brain that releases calming hormones like dopamine and serotonin into your bloodstream that promote feelings of peace and ease. Anti-anxiety and anti-depression medications influence the release of these two hormones, but this can occur naturally using the 2-Step Shifting Technique.
Breathe in through your nose, down to your abdomen, and then slowly exhale through your mouth. Do this five times in a row, slowing your breathing down with each exhalation. Sometimes it can help if you put a hand over your belly button and then imagine filling your stomach like a balloon. You can also count to five in your mind while breathing in and out. Another way to increase your feeling of calm is by gazing up at the ceiling or sky while power breathing and mentally counting to five in your mind.
Step Two: Ask Power Questions
If you want someone to think about something in particular, what’s the best way to do this? That’s right, ask a question. Dr. William James once said, “The greatest discovery of the 20th century was realizing the quality of your life is determined by the quality of your thinking.” Thinking is a process of asking and answering questions in one’s mind. Thus, the type of questions you ask yourself determines the quality of your daily life.
After paying attention to the type of questions people ask themselves, it comes down to two categories: Fear-Based Questions & Power Questions.
Fear-based questions cause you to think about what’s going wrong, why trying to improve the situation won’t work, and who’s to blame for the tragedy that’s befalling you. It’s like watering weeds in your garden while simultaneously complaining about why you have so many of them. Whatever you water (focus on) grows. When you accomplish nine activities well and mess up on the 10th one, and then obsess about that one mistake, it robs you of the satisfaction from completing the other 90%. Worriers say, “I’m just being practical,” but doing this also lowers your motivation and confidence when in similar future situations, which is neither logical nor practical.
Power Questions direct your attention to what is working and how to move towards your desired destination. Questions like:
- What is the outcome I want?
- What’s one step I can take to move in that direction?
- What resources do I have?
- Who can I lean on for support?
- What can I do to feel more calm, confident, and motivated right now?
These questions are pro-active because they move you towards a solution rather than getting stuck on any problems or obstacles that appear. That’s why I always say it doesn’t matter what shows up. What matters is how YOU show up! When under pressure, STOP, take five slow power breaths, then start asking Power Questions, and you’ll immediately feel more resilient and resourceful, regardless of the circumstances.
You are a powerful human being with an extraordinary brain. The more you discover how to use the power of your mind to create your life by design, the happier and more confident you will feel. Stressful situations do not determine who you are. Instead, they reveal your level of self-awareness and personal power. Use those situations to your advantage by taking classes in personal development and reading books on the subject. You’ll discover how to use any problem to your advantage so you can make the rest of your life the BEST of your life and shift from anxiety to resiliency!