Use the following 4 Mottos to increase confidence, resiliency, and happiness regardless of the situations you may face.
1. Learn From Any Situation
One of my favorite mental toughness principles is that there is no failure, only feedback. Have you ever driven a car and got lost? How did you handle that situation? Did you throw the car into a park and exclaim, “Well, I guess I have to live here now!”
No, of course not. You simply realized the decision you made did not take you to your destination (feedback), so you turned around and made another choice. Perhaps (if you’re female!) you even stopped and asked for directions, which produces even faster results. Because you continued to focus on arriving at your desired destination, you eventually got there!
What if life is like a school and problems are simply lessons to learn. If you keep learning and adapting, you can succeed with just about anything. The only way to fail is to quit trying or learning, but even that is just more feedback that giving up doesn’t produce enjoyable outcomes.
When life throws you lemons, what do you make? Lemonade. Can you make that lemonade without the lemons? Nope. Therefore, when you see a lemon coming at you, think, “Lemonaide!” Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this situation?” or “Where’s the creative opportunity in this situation?” The answer may so surprising that you actually become excited for the next challenge to arise.
2. Laugh It Off
Laughter truly is the best medicine because you cannot feel fear, anger, or laughter at the same time. Make a fist with your hand and hold it as tightly as you can. Now at the same time, fully and completely relax that same hand. Your brain says, “What?”
You can’t do both because your muscles cannot be tense and relaxed at the same time. (You can relax your fist now.)
Therefore, I encourage you to find humor in more situations. The more you laugh, the less stressed you’ll be. Rent comedies, hang around humorous people and take pictures of yourself making funny faces. If someone close to you is constantly yelling or complaining, imagine their voice being squeaky like a mouse or pretend they have a big shaggy tail.
If you’re upset about something, think about the last time you laughed out loud. Perhaps you were with friends and something unexpected happened that caused you to erupt into laughter. Maybe it was a scene out of that comedy you rented, something your kid said that he wasn’t supposed to say in public, or a recent Tik Tok video you watched.
I remember when my three-year-old was playing with blocks and his tower tumbled over. He jumped up and shouted, “Damn it!” His response was so out of character, it made me laugh. It also reminded me to watch my language! What you look for, you will find. So look for the laughter.
Here’s an idea. Create a Laughter Journal. Sit down with family or friends and write down the funniest memories and experiences you recall having throughout your entire life. Then, each time some event or comment causes you to break out into laughter, add it to your journal. When times are tough and you need a good laugh, crack open your journal and enjoy strolling through all the good times.
I have another fond memory of my oldest son at three years old asking me about a friend of his who wore glasses. He said, “Are those for his eyebulbs?” That makes me smile every time I think about it.
3. Let It Go
Letting things go is an art form, and in order to do so, you need to realize that you are eternal and problems are temporary. In the bigger scheme of things, whatever just happened probably wasn’t that big of a deal anyway. Think about ALL the crazy situations you’ve experienced in life, and yet, here you are alive and kicking. You survived them and you’ll handle these challenges as well.
It’s been said many times and still holds true, “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and remember, it’s all small stuff!”
I was watching Pastor Joel Osteen preach on this subject. I’ll paraphrase his point. “Letting things go is a way of honoring God because you’re strengthening your faith that he will take care of you. Rather than fighting to save face or feed your pride (ego), blow things off and pray that others return the favor.”
Dr. Phil says, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” If you’re smart, you will choose “happy” most of the time, especially in your marriage. Then, if something happens at home or work and you suddenly feel like eating, you may want to consider shrinking the situation down and putting it behind you.
The quickest way to do so is by taking five slow, deep breaths in through your nose while looking up towards the ceiling or sky. Doing so will quiet the voice in your mind and give you space to think about how you’d like to respond, rather than react.
When you get angry, stressed, hurt, or offended, you have the ability to handle it in a dozen different ways. You can continually review, repeat, or magnify what happened, which will steal away your happiness and peace of mind. Or, you can become curious and compassionate by wondering what’s happening inside the other person that’s causing them to behave or show up in that way? You could also be playful, creative, or constructive rather than allowing your emotions to dictate your actions.
I’ve always taught my kids not to get caught up in the feelings if someone called them a bad name. “If someone calls you a banana, does that make you one?” “No dad,” they’d say. I’d reply, “Well then, it doesn’t matter what else they might say. That just shows you how they are feeling about themselves. I’ve never met a happy person who felt the need to hurt anothers feelings.”
If you’re having difficulty shrugging off the comment, hum a favorite song, recite the Serenity Prayer, or take a dance break and bounce around the room. Others may think you’ve lost it, and if so, refer back to Motto #2.
You can also form a picture or movie in your mind that represents the current situation and turn it black and white. Then mute the sound. Next, shrink the movie down so small that it fits on the tip of your finger. Then stare down at this tiny movie, realizing that you are way larger and more powerful than any temporary situation. Say to yourself aloud in a calm, direct voice, “I am safe and everything will go well for me.” Then flick the image off of your finger and let it go.
Immediately redirect your attention towards the outcome you desire by asking yourself Power Questions. Don’t get stuck on the thoughts and feelings that make you feel miserable. Instead, ask yourself, “How do I want to feel right now?” and “What actions can I take that will allow me to feel empowered and proud of myself now and two hours from now?”
Here’s the 2-Step “Mindset Reset” Formula:
- Take Power Breaths
- Ask Power Questions
If you need additional help with letting things go, invest in my program, “Emotional Mastery: Turning Fear into Power!” It’s eighty minutes of pure strategy for feeling calm, cool, and collected no matter what.
4. Love & Encourage Yourself
When situations get tough, that’s when you need to be the most loving and accepting of yourself. Being judgmental or critical of yourself isn’t constructive or useful in those situations. In fact, it only makes situations worse because it robs you of the energy to improve your circumstances.
If you treat yourself poorly, it’s likely because you learned to do so from those who raised you. They were either directly cruel or critical of you, or they treated themselves poorly and thus provided you with unhealthy role models. A good rule of thumb is to never take advice on how to be happy or wealthy from those who are neither.
If your parents were insecure or unhappy people and they filled your head with a bunch of negative beliefs that are still guiding your life today, it’s time to free yourself of that stinkin thinkin
Your parents, and “authority figures” in general, are just people. Their opinions aren’t any more valid or important than yours. Thus, if you inherited self-limiting beliefs about yourself, feel free to hold a mental garage sale and toss out any old, junky beliefs. As children, we don’t have much control over what happens to us, but as adults we do. There are two kinds of role models in life—the ones who teach you how and how not to treat yourself. Your job is to know the difference between the two. Everyone is either an Example or a Warning.
You’re already feeling stressed, for example, does emotionally beating up yourself for it improve the situation? Of course not. That’s like having a headache and thinking the solution is to whack yourself on the head with a mallet. That’s absurd! So instead do or say something that makes you feel loved, supported, and encouraged.
As one idea, you can sit down with a cup of green tea and start journaling about what’s going on in your life right now. Just start writing. You might start with, “I don’t know what to write. I guess I’m just feeling stressed right now . . .” The more you write, the better you will feel. It will also help you get to the source of the stress, rather than just medicating the symptoms with food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, or cigarettes.
By acknowledging that you’re tired, overwhelmed, or in need of a break, you get to the root of the problem. If your feelings are hurt, you can provide yourself the validation that you need. It does not have to come from another person. If you wait around for someone else to fulfill your needs or do the right thing, you could end up waiting an awfully long time. Instead, cut out the middle person and give yourself exactly what you need emotionally. No cookie has ever reached up and given you a hug. You need to give yourself one.
REVIEW
As you apply these 4 mottos into your life, you’ll feel both resilient and hopeful about the present and future. You possess more power and magic within your mind than you may realize, and reading articles like this is a proven way to unleash your full potential! So let’s reward you with some more free mindset training!
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