In honor of Father’s Day, here are 10 tips for being a great dad!
1. Be Present! This one is #1 for a reason. Put down your phone, turn off the TV, and give your kids your full attention and energy when you’re with them. If you don’t have enough energy after work to give your kids the attention they deserve, stop working so hard. When they are all grown up you’ll regret not spending that time with them.
2. Embrace the Dad jokes. Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself – act out voices, do impersonations, turn chores into silly games, and show off your best dance moves. Laughter really is the best parenting medicine. Just don’t take yourself too seriously unless you want to raise kids that turn into uptight, stressed-out adults.
3. Piggyback on Their Interests. Whether it’s dinosaurs, magic tricks, or the latest TikTok dances, immerse yourself in your kid’s world. Kids love sharing what fascinates them with a willing audience (aka you). Even if you don’t like playing with dolls or listening to the music they love, they will love you for doing it.
4. Schedule Regular One-on-One Time. Kids thrive on that undivided attention. Schedule regular dates or hangouts with each kid to make them feel special. (This is also wise to do with their mother!)
5. Don’t Be Afraid to Discipline. Boundaries and rules create security. Don’t shy away from laying down the law when needed. You are not their buddy. You are their father, which is much more important. However, also make sure to catch them doing things right as much as possible because what you give attention to gets replicated.
6. Model Good Behavior. Kids and teens are little sponges absorbing how to move through the world. Model the values, habits, and behaviors you hope they’ll emulate.
7. Let Them See You Struggle. It’s OK to make mistakes or not have all the answers. Seeing Dad work through challenges teaches resilience. Your job is not to protect them from failing or getting hurt but to teach them how to bounce back after a disappointment or setback.
8. Share Your Childhood Stories. Tell them about your own upbringing – the good, bad, and silly. It’ll help them understand you better and feel closer. Do resist constantly reminding them how much harder you had it than they do. It only makes them feel guilty or annoyed. Your stories should be teaching tales and not therapy for you.
9. Say “I Love You” Often. Those three little words have amazing power. Use them generously! Hugs are also essential. Even if you did not receive physical attention from your parents, you should give it abundantly to your kids.
10. Ask For Help if you need it. Asking others for support is a sign of wisdom, not weakness. If you’re struggling with anything, reach out for support. A happy, healthy dad is an awesome dad. I’ve learned a lot from my two kids, and they always feel good knowing they helped me. Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and trying to be Superman all the time leads to exhaustion and grumpiness. So don’t be that guy…
There you have it. Some dad wisdom straight from the trenches of fatherhood. Stay strong, stay present, and know that occasional bouts of chaos and cringing dad jokes are all part of the gig. Your kids wouldn’t want it any other way!
Happy Father’s Day!
🙂 Tim Shurr
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