Sarcasm refers to the use of words that mean the opposite of what you want to say, especially to insult someone, convey irritation, or as an attempt to be humorous.
An example of sarcasm is saying “they really got it together” to describe a disorganized group or team.
Here are other examples that perhaps you’ve heard or said in the past.
“If I had your brains, I’d be lost too.”
“Is the princess feeling unappreciated again?”
“Yes, you’ve had it so bad, haven’t you?”
“I wish I had your problems?”
“You wouldn’t know responsibility if it walked up and punched you in the nose.”
“I’m sure it’s hard for you to listen with your head so far up your ass.”
“Kids are to be seen, not heard, and usually not seen.”
“I wouldn’t have to yell if I wasn’t surrounded by morons.”
Growing up in the seventies, it seemed like using sarcasm was the cool thing to do.
We were constantly ripping on our friends and trying to one-up each other with the next cut down.
It seemed funny, but often those jokes did cut emotionally.
There were no limits to the shock value, and total humiliation seemed like the unspoken goal.
Sadly, this hasn’t stopped even in a “cancel culture” society, and the results of this behavior are horrifying.
Regular school shootings, youth suicide because of social media shaming, and other atrocities make my stomach sour.
We want to blame guns and Smartphones, but the truth is that it’s how we parent and raise our children.
My wife and I taught our kids to be respectful and kind to others and were often made fun of for it by their peers.
Quick side story.
When I worked as a Psychiatric counselor at in-patient mental health facilities in the early 90’s, parents would come in to visit their “unwell” children.
Meeting these dysfunctional parents helped me understand how their children ended up in such a dark place.
One teenage girl was incredibly wise and mature for her age. Since she responded well during her treatment, she was allowed to go home a week later.
Yet, she was back in the hospital that very same night.
I asked her what happened, and she said, “I couldn’t take all the screaming so I threw a brick at their car windshield so I could come back here.”
I believe humans are good, and we all do our best based on personal self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
However, people have insidious limiting beliefs that cause us to develop dysfunctional coping strategies that pass faulty paradigms and habits down through the timeline.
My grandparents had a lot of problems even though they were good people. They passed those traits on to my parents, who had a lot of issues but were good people.
I’ve had many issues to work through, heal, and upgrade even though I’m a good person.
I’ve also passed insecurities onto my kids, even though I’ve tried not to.
The good news is that human beings are resilient, and we can bounce back stronger than before with the right amount of love, encouragement, and validation.
The first step is to remove sarcasm from your vocabulary.
Instead, communicate with LUV!
Listen to others; Understand others; Validate others!
I’ve used this simple yet powerful acronym to transform marriages, self-esteem in kids/teens, and company cultures.
Rather than tease or kid someone (“I was only joking,”) complement, inspire, or reinforce positive beliefs with your remarks.
Company supervisors and team leads have been shocked by how much of an impact doing this had on productivity, collaboration, and morale.
We’ve saved marriages, and teens who repeatedly acted out became more respectful and better listeners.
If you think this advice is dumb and people should lighten up, YOU’RE the one with the problem, and it’s hurting your loved ones and co-workers.
Rather than taking my word for it, put this LUV idea to the test.
Trade-in sarcasm for praise for one week and watch what happens.
You can always go back to being a smartass.
But if you’re anything like me, you won’t want to anymore.
There’s too much at stake.
Plus, you’re much more influential when communicating from a place of empathy, kindness, and praise.
I appreciate you reading this email.
You are Awesome!
🙂 Tim
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