Is Kindness A Useful Leadership Trait?

My oldest son and I spent the other day working on a new home for the non-profit, Habitat For Humanity. It was a hot day, and because we were the younger members of the volunteer crew that day, we opted to add the shingles to the roof.

Before laying the shingles, we nailed down the paper and then added metal trim around the edges. I’m sure there’s a name for that trim, but I couldn’t tell you what it is. The foreman on site checked what I was doing and noticed a few errors in my work. Instead of yelling, kidding, or taking the job away, he pointed out the mistakes, showed me how to fix them, and then helped install the next piece until I got the hang of it. He was patient and kind.

It took three hours of pounding nails to get the roof covered with paper. When it came time to insert the metal trim along the roof edges, my old fear of heights kicked in. I couldn’t seem to shake it, so I climbed down off the roof. Then, still wanting to help, I looked for a tall ladder to lean up against the house so I could reach the roof edges from there. The foreman happened to be standing near the ladders, and as I approached, he asked how I was doing. I’m an honest guy and don’t care how others judge me, so I told him the heights messed with my head.

Without missing a beat, he said, “Alright. There’s an extension ladder over there you can use.” So I grabbed the ladder and went to help my son, who was fearless and continued to work from the rooftop. Once again, I was impressed with the empathy our leader demonstrated.

Towards the day’s end, we were all hot, tired, and sore from seven hours of hammering nails. A couple of trim pieces still needed to be inserted at the very top of the roof. The foreman came up behind me and said, “How about if I give you a hand?” I said sure and followed him up the ladder and back onto the roof again. I brought him pieces of the metal trim as he inserted the final ones with speed and precision. I complimented him on how proficient he was, and he humbling responded by sharing how he started doing this work with his father at the age of 12. The foreman then taught me the secrets he had picked up through the years for how to lay that trim rather than just “doing it himself so it got done right.” He was once again in the trenches helping me to learn and grow. I was impressed with his kindness for the third time that day.

Our leader was the most experienced guy on the job, but he didn’t boss anyone around and focused on ensuring everyone had what they needed to succeed. By the end of that long, hot day, I was exhausted, and my hands were full of well-earned blisters. Most everyone had left, yet the foreman was staying to finish one more project. My son and I could have gone as well, but to work longer than everyone else and then have to put all the ladders and tools away would have been a burden on the foreman. If the guy had been a jerk that day, I might have just went home and been done with it.

Instead, my son and I put all the heavy ladders away and then asked the foreman if there was anything else we could do to assist him before leaving. He paused for a moment and then asked if we could walk around the site and put any tools into the shed, so they didn’t disappear that night. So, of course, we said yes and did just that. Keep in mind that my son and I were volunteering. We were tired from the manual labor, and even my eyelids felt sunburned from being on the roof most of the day.

Yet, we gave that discretionary effort (more than might be asked for or required) because our leader was kind, helpful, supportive, and instructive. He was the best kind of leader, and we wanted to express our gratitude by staying longer and cleaning up the job site, which we could tell he appreciated. So, was it worth it for him to show me kindness through the day as a leader? What do you think?