Bulletproof Confidence is a state of mind that requires developing an inner sense of security and strength. It’s fueled by a belief that you are good, smart, and resourceful enough to make bold decisions and course corrections, without needing to belittle yourself if things don’t work out on the first try.
Bulletproof Confidence doesn’t come from saying nice things to yourself, although this is useful and encouraged! Instead, it’s forged from continually challenging yourself to take action even when you’re scared, so you can discover that whether the decision was correct or not, it wasn’t as bad as you feared. Or that you were actually more resilient, creative, and powerful than you gave yourself credit for!
My clients don’t just achieve Bulletproof Confidence, they gain a greater sense of self, reduce their stress levels and perform at levels higher than they ever thought possible! Here’s how you can get bulletproof confidence, and start seeing those benefits in your life!
#1) Talk Less, Do More
I talk about this topic on my blog and it applies when it comes to getting bulletproof confidence as well. “Talkers” are wishful thinkers. Like the hopeless romantic, they pine for what they don’t have…but don’t take any consistent action to get it. A “doer” knows what they want and they go out and make it happen.
If you want to be more confident, don’t wish for it. Start working towards it! Bulletproof Confidence is rooted in accomplishment. When you set small goals for yourself, and achieve those goals, it builds the confidence to go after those bigger goals. Remember, little steps turn into great leaps!
#2) Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
This one’s worth repeating. Stop comparing yourself to others! One of the biggest killers of self-confidence is comparison. If you’re looking for how to gain confidence, or get it back, focus on making progress and being better today than you were yesterday! You are in a race only with yourself!
When you compare yourself to others, it results in envy (one of the 7 Deadly Sins.) When you feel jealous of someone, it can make it seem like your impressive accomplishments are suddenly sub-par, which is a false belief (False Evidence Appearing Real.) Or worse, you might get trapped in self-pity by telling yourself how unfair life is rather than using that time to take a few more steps towards what matters most in your life. Those with bulletproof confidence use the successes of others as inspiration. “If they can do it, so can I!”
The next time you find yourself comparing yourself to a friend, or worse, someone you only know on social media, remember you’re only seeing what they want you to see. You have no idea what’s really going on in that person’s life. Instead, use the energy to charge towards your goals with even more determination. The only competition you have is with yourself!
#3) Use Fear To Drive Forward
Fear can be debilitating. It stops us from pursuing our dreams, taking chances, and living life to the fullest. Yet, you can also use it to drive you into taking proactive action! (Feeling Excited And Ready!) In most situations, once you get moving in a certain direction, things get easier.
The first time I presented a Leadership Keynote to a live group, I was terrified. My heart was pounding so hard, I could barely catch my breath. But I had prepared my material and knew what I was going to start with, so I decided that I only needed to be brave for 30 seconds and the rest would fall into place.
(Bulletproof Secret #4) I also decided to love and accept myself regardless of what happened on stage. This helped me feel safer inside because when I stopped judging myself so critically, it felt like others would be more supportive of me as well.
(Bulletproof Secret #5) I also switched the goal of my talk from making it about my performance to adding tremendous value for those in the audience. I thought, “Even if they don’t like me, at least they will feel like they got something valuable from the time we spent together, which will hopefully keep them from throwing rotten tomatoes at me!” This image made me laugh, and that provided the courage to go out on stage and deliver!
Within the first 30 seconds, I got a collective laugh from the audience and it felt much easier to continue forward. This taught my nervous system to associate more pleasure and confidence with public speaking, which made it easier to do the next presentation. Now, after providing hundreds of talks on stages across the US and abroad, when I think about presenting to a live audience, I fill with excitement instead of fear, and I want to run onto the stage…rather than run off of it!
People often assume those with confidence are unafraid. This is false. We have just learned to use our fear rather than allowing it to use us! To acquire Bulletproof Confidence, you must embrace your fear and take action anyway! You can’t have courage without fear and real confidence almost always emerges from overcoming insecurity and self-doubt. Get used to moving through your fear, instead of being paralyzed by it, and soon you’ll be using fear as one of your many tools to launch forward in life as well!
One of my personal mantras is, “If I can’t, I must!” This mantra has served me well and it will do the same for you because your biggest breakthroughs are hidden in the places you don’t want to go. When you realize this and begin going to those places on purpose, extraordinary breakthroughs will occur in your life!
“You Are Already Enough!”
Apply these Bulletproof Confidence insights as quickly as possible because “You Are Awesome!” and the quicker you realize this, the better it will be for you, your loved ones, and your customers (if you have them)! So many hold themselves back from excellence and living with purpose because of a false idea that they “aren’t good enough.” This is a bold lie and the faster you realize “You are MORE than enough,” the more bulletproof confidence you’ll have!
If you’d like a step-by-step checklist for building Bulletproof Confidence, download my Mesmerizing Mindset Secrets Checklist!
Thanks for reading and make your day a Shurr ! Success
Tim Shurr, MA, is a Mesmerizing Leadership & Business Growth Specialist. His award-winning keynotes, Influential Communication workshops, TEDx and media appearances, and online courses and programs empower thousands of people to live their best lives every day, at work and home!
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