“Hypnosis. Really? That sounds like a bunch of BS to me. There’s nothing wrong. Besides, I’ve talked to head shrinks before, and all they want to do is talk about bad memories from the past.
It doesn’t make anything better. Instead, I have to relive the past again, and that’s the opposite of what I want. I’ll figure it out on my own.”
It’s common to think that our situation won’t improve or that things might get worse if we talk to someone about it.
Resistance shows up each time you are about to do something that’s out of the norm, like talking to new people, visiting a foreign place, or beginning a program that modifies your routine.
We resist change for various reasons, including:
- You want to be right or fear looking wrong if you accept new information.
- Fear that your situation could somehow get worse than it is.
- It will involve physical or emotional pain during the transition.
- You’ll lose control.
- Lack of understanding as to why the change is necessary.
- Believing you are already right in your assessment of the situation or that it won’t improve even if you tried (fear of failure).
- Poorly structured reward system (pain associated with changing and insufficient pleasure connected to new behavior or outcome.)
Before developing my One Belief Away™ Method, I tried convincing people to change in various ways, including using logic and reasoning skills (cognitive behavioral therapy/rational emotive therapy), positive affirmations, aversion (associating massive pain to a current behavior), and hypnotic suggestion.
Yet, none of these approaches seemed to produce lasting, sustainable change until the underlying beliefs causing the resistance were addressed.
Having a clear understanding of why you behave in certain ways and acquiring additional information on improving such behavior doesn’t guarantee a new response.
You likely know that eating a lot of sugar is terrible for your health, but has it kept you from doing so?
High stress can also ruin your health and mental well-being.
Yet how much time do you devote to daily practices that lower stress and increase feelings of peace and tranquility?
If the answer is “not much,” go through each of those seven reasons people resist change and identify the one holding you back.
On the other side of resistance lies joy and tremendous success because of the growth that comes from improving our responses to life.
When you get frustrated, angry, indignant, irritated, or annoyed, recognize this as resistance and an opportunity to elevate self-awareness and emotional maturity.
It won’t feel like that’s what’s happening at the moment, which is why becoming a more patient and wise human being is challenging.
But it’s worth the rewards that come from creating stronger relationships, experiencing greater vitality, or finally attaining that goal that was out of reach for so long.
Tim Shurr
Your Success Coach