How’s your relationship with your spouse or significant other? Are you both feeling connected, trusting, and flirty?
Or, do you feel like all you’ve got is a nagging roommate?
These 5 Communication Strategies Will Bring The Passion Back Into Your Relationship!
- Decide what your outcome is going to be. Before approaching your partner, make a conscious decision to achieve an outcome no matter what it takes! Most people try to “wing” the conversation and end up in an argument. “My outcome is to be respectful and supportive regardless of how my partner responds to me!” “My outcome is to reconnect with my partner over the next couple of weeks and this is the first step.”
- Be intentional! This means be responsible for the energy/comments/reactions to bring to your partner. This is about you “creating” a moment, rather than reacting to the energy of your partner. If your intention is to bring love and understanding, that’s what you bring. Even if your partner is rejecting your efforts in every possible way. This isn’t about what your partner does. This is about what you are doing. Besides, when you’re partner pushes you, it’s just a test to see if you will stay loving.
- Make eye contact. It’s how human beings connect and trust each other. It also keeps you present. Stay in the moment no matter how hurtful or angry your partner may be. It’s part of the healing process and s/he will know if you tune out.
- Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Make it a point to understand how your partner feels and what it’s like to be in his/her shoes before sharing your point of view. This is harder to do than it sounds, yet the results can be fantastic!
- Discover what matters most to your partner. Find out what they really care about, what they value, what they dream about, and what their vision is for the future. You may not get to all of this in one conversation, which is okay. You don’t want to come across like you’re interrogating him/her. This should be a natural and enjoyable conversation.
“We’ve been together a long time and I’m just wondering what matters to you most these days? When are you the happiest? If you could have something wonderful in the future, what would it be?”
BONUS LOVE STRATEGY:
- Make it about your partner, not you! If you make the point of your relationship to care more about helping your partner get what s/he needs out of the relationship than what you are getting out of it, odds are you will end up getting much more than you ever expected.
“Relationships are like bank accounts.
To get the most out of them, you must make more deposits than withdrawals!”
Tim Shurr, MA
President, Shurr ! Success, Inc.