Shurr! Success Blog

Becoming Unstoppable

Are You Committing These Top 7 Communication Mistakes? Take The Quiz and Find Out!

Effective communication has always been a hot topic in leadership and sales training curriculum. What does it mean to be an effective communicator? Before sharing my perspective, take the short quiz below and see if you make any of these common communication mistakes. The following quiz reveals communication errors that will sour your reputation and keep you from becoming a trusted leader in your field. Notice the following are YES and NO questions because human beings are notorious for justifying poor behavior. If you have done what the questions below suggest at least once in the last month, answer YES rather than excusing the action with justifications like “I only do it once in awhile” or “Everyone does that!”   TAKE THE QUIZ YES   NO   In conversations, do you do more talking than listening?   YES   NO   When someone offers an idea or suggestion, do you ever cut them off…

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3 Actions You MUST Take To Create Amazing Breakthroughs!

  To create momentum and breakthroughs when it comes to achieving your personal and professional goals, you MUST do these 3 actions before anything else! Upgrade your beliefs if fear is holding you back Train your brain for success instead of fighting yourself (ie, procrastinating, not staying focused) Develop an unstoppable mindset that keeps you feeling hopeful, inspired and resilient! Fearful beliefs and unconscious blind spots hold people back more than any other factor! Once you’ve developed the self-belief and attitude necessary for overcoming obstacles, identifying the intended destination and the path for getting their will become easier. For tips on HOW to train your brain and develop an unstoppable mindset, grab a complimentary copy of my popular Mind-Mastery Ebook here: The Cure For Self Sabotage  

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How To Get People To Like You!

Sales and communication expert, Tim Shurr, reveals how to make people like you more by being “others-focused” and asking questions about them. Facebook.com/timshurrma twitter.com/timshurr http://instagram.com/shurrsuccess https://www.linkedin.com/in/timshurr  

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Is Your BS Keeping You Stuck?

  Your beliefs about yourself, others, and the world around you determine whether you will succeed or fail in life. Positive thinking is not enough because you won’t believe what you’re telling yourself. It’s like cutting the top off of a weed. You need to get to the root system or the weed will just keep growing back! In this video, I’ll teach you how to uncover self-limiting beliefs and upgrade them so you can fully become the brilliant human being that you are!   Want more? Click here.

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5 Love Strategies That’ll Spark Your Marriage!

How’s your relationship with your spouse or significant other? Are you both feeling connected, trusting, and flirty? Or, do you feel like all you’ve got is a nagging roommate? These 5 Communication Strategies Will Bring The Passion Back Into Your Relationship! Decide what your outcome is going to be. Before approaching your partner, make a conscious decision to achieve an outcome no matter what it takes! Most people try to “wing” the conversation and end up in an argument. “My outcome is to be respectful and supportive regardless of how my partner responds to me!” “My outcome is to reconnect with my partner over the next couple of weeks and this is the first step.” Be intentional! This means be responsible for the energy/comments/reactions to bring to your partner. This is about you “creating” a moment, rather than reacting to the energy of your partner. If your intention is to…

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“When Do I Get To Be Happy?”

LIFE. WHAT IS IT ALL ABOUT? When I was a kid, life was about having fun and figuring out how to avoid going to bed. When I was a teen, it was about fitting in and trying to be accepted. When I was in my twenties, it was about figuring out what to do with my life. When I was in my thirties, it was about making money and collecting stuff. When I was in my forties, it was about family, building wealth, and gaining respect. I’m 45 years old now. Half way there, if I make it to 90. I woke up with two thoughts. “What will the rest of my forties be about?” and “Do I have a say in the matter?” Lao Tzu once wrote in the Tao Te Ching that we go through stages in life. For men, in the “morning” of our lives it’s about making…

Continue Reading

5 Lessons I Learned From Being A Dad!

Here’s some parenting advice I’ve learned from being a dad for the last 11 years. I wish I could say I knew all this from the beginning, but I didn’t. It took a lot of hard work on my end to break the bad habits I didn’t even realize I had! It also took an incredible amount of love, patience, and support from my extraordinary wife, Stacey. All the inner struggles and uncomfortable feelings I went through (swallowing my pride, keeping my Ego in check, not making excuses, etc.) were worth it. I’ve got two amazing kids who will grow up to contribute in big ways because they believe they can! Here’s a few lessons I learned. Perhaps it will help you. If you’re already doing this, good for you! If not, start today. You’ll be glad you did and so will your family! Avoid teasing your kid(s). I grew…

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Caring For The Caregivers!

Caring For The Caregivers At some point in your life you are likely going to be a caregiver or need a caregiver. There are estimated to be 42 million family caregivers in America. That’s 1 out of 5 adults according to AARP.org –  Caregivers are often parents with children who are now also taking care of a sick or elderly family member. – Caregivers often feel like they are expected or obligated to take care of everyone else at the expense of themselves. – They often feel badly or like they are letting people down if the don’t have the energy or strength to “do it all”. – They often feel guilty if they want to take time off or do something for themselves. – They often feel like they can’t or shouldn’t lean on others to help. – They may compensate for lack of rest with comfort eating, smoking,…

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4 Most Common Forms of Dysfunctional Communication

Productivity expert, Tim Shurr, MA, shares the 4 most common forms of dysfunctional communication and the #1 way to get your message across to others! Plus learn what kind of a communicator you are! This can be a very eye opening segment and potentially help you reflect on your actions.

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To create momentum and breakthroughs when it comes to achieving your personal and professional goals, you MUST do these 3 actions before anything else!

  1. Upgrade your beliefs if fear is holding you back
  2. Train your brain for success instead of fighting yourself (ie, procrastinating, not staying focused)
  3. Develop an unstoppable mindset that keeps you feeling hopeful, inspired and resilient!

Fearful beliefs and unconscious blind spots hold people back more than any other factor! Once you’ve developed the self-belief and attitude necessary for overcoming obstacles, identifying the intended destination and the path for getting their will become easier.

For tips on HOW to train your brain and develop an unstoppable mindset, grab a complimentary copy of my popular Mind-Mastery Ebook here: The Cure For Self Sabotage

 

How To Get People To Like You!


Sales and communication expert, Tim Shurr, reveals how to make people like you more by being “others-focused” and asking questions about them.

Facebook.com/timshurrma
twitter.com/timshurr
http://instagram.com/shurrsuccess
https://www.linkedin.com/in/timshurr

 

Is Your BS Keeping You Stuck?

 

Your beliefs about yourself, others, and the world around you determine whether you will succeed or fail in life. Positive thinking is not enough because you won’t believe what you’re telling yourself. It’s like cutting the top off of a weed. You need to get to the root system or the weed will just keep growing back!

In this video, I’ll teach you how to uncover self-limiting beliefs and upgrade them so you can fully become the brilliant human being that you are!

 

Want more? Click here.

5 Love Strategies That’ll Spark Your Marriage!

How’s your relationship with your spouse or significant other? Are you both feeling connected, trusting, and flirty?

Or, do you feel like all you’ve got is a nagging roommate?

These 5 Communication Strategies Will Bring The Passion Back Into Your Relationship!

  1. Decide what your outcome is going to be. Before approaching your partner, make a conscious decision to achieve an outcome no matter what it takes! Most people try to “wing” the conversation and end up in an argument. “My outcome is to be respectful and supportive regardless of how my partner responds to me!” “My outcome is to reconnect with my partner over the next couple of weeks and this is the first step.”
  1. Be intentional! This means be responsible for the energy/comments/reactions to bring to your partner. This is about you “creating” a moment, rather than reacting to the energy of your partner. If your intention is to bring love and understanding, that’s what you bring. Even if your partner is rejecting your efforts in every possible way. This isn’t about what your partner does. This is about what you are doing. Besides, when you’re partner pushes you, it’s just a test to see if you will stay loving.
  1. Make eye contact. It’s how human beings connect and trust each other. It also keeps you present. Stay in the moment no matter how hurtful or angry your partner may be. It’s part of the healing process and s/he will know if you tune out.
  1. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Make it a point to understand how your partner feels and what it’s like to be in his/her shoes before sharing your point of view. This is harder to do than it sounds, yet the results can be fantastic!
  1. Discover what matters most to your partner. Find out what they really care about, what they value, what they dream about, and what their vision is for the future. You may not get to all of this in one conversation, which is okay. You don’t want to come across like you’re interrogating him/her. This should be a natural and enjoyable conversation.

“We’ve been together a long time and I’m just wondering what matters to you most these days? When are you the happiest? If you could have something wonderful in the future, what would it be?”

BONUS LOVE STRATEGY:

  1. Make it about your partner, not you! If you make the point of your relationship to care more about helping your partner get what s/he needs out of the relationship than what you are getting out of it, odds are you will end up getting much more than you ever expected.

“Relationships are like bank accounts.
To get the most out of them, you must make more deposits than withdrawals!”

Tim Shurr, MA
President, Shurr ! Success, Inc.

 

“When Do I Get To Be Happy?”

LIFE. WHAT IS IT ALL ABOUT?

When I was a kid, life was about having fun and figuring out how to avoid going to bed.
When I was a teen, it was about fitting in and trying to be accepted.
When I was in my twenties, it was about figuring out what to do with my life.
When I was in my thirties, it was about making money and collecting stuff.
When I was in my forties, it was about family, building wealth, and gaining respect.

I’m 45 years old now. Half way there, if I make it to 90. I woke up with two thoughts. “What will the rest of my forties be about?” and “Do I have a say in the matter?”

Lao Tzu once wrote in the Tao Te Ching that we go through stages in life. For men, in the “morning” of our lives it’s about making money and earning respect. Yet, in the “afternoon” of life, the priorities for men shift to spirituality and family. It’s a completely different set of values that perhaps come from having greater perspective and wisdom regarding what really matters in life.

For women it’s different. In the “morning” of life, it’s about family, connection, and fitting in. Being a good daughter, wife and/or mother. Yet, in the “afternoon” of life, it shifts to personal growth and self-improvement. This, to, is a complete paradigm shift. Women have traditionally been taught to be others-focused, which inherently causes many to lose their sense of self.

These are generalizations and values have slightly shifted in the 21st century. Yet, there is a lot of truth to these writings some 2500 years later! Each day, I witness men trading happiness for financial gain and women trading in self-respect for approval and belonging. It’s like we are wind up toys. Each day, we get cranked up, walk around in the same circle, and then run out of juice at the end.

This brings me back to my second question. “Do I have a say in the matter?” I believe the answer is YES. We both do. The following strategy is helping me find happiness and peace in each moment. I don’t want to discover on my death bed that I should have spent more time enjoying life and less time worrying about money, bills, and being “accepted.”

 

3 Step Happiness Strategy

1. Ask yourself, “What do I want to feel in this moment?” William James, the founder of modern psychology, once said, “The greatest discovery of the 20th century is that the quality of your life is directly determined by the quality of your thinking.” Thinking is a process of asking yourself questions and making judgements about everything. Thus, the quality of your life is directly determined by the types of questions you silently ask yourself each moment of the day.

 

2. Be intentional. Avoid thinking that life is happening to you, and instead, you decide what emotions you’d like to experience in this moment. Then ask yourself an intentional question. “What would I need to believe, or do, in order to feel this way (in this situation)?” If, for example, you wanted to feel more joy or peace right now, what would you have to think or do to cause this to happen? Your first response might be, “I have no idea” or “That’s not going to happen.” These are fear-based thoughts that will keep you stuck. You must expand your vision of possibility. Imagine you are a powerful soul with unlimited resources and abilities. If that were true, what would be possible then? The answer…anything. (Inspired = In Spirit)

 

3. Stay mindful. Once you’ve decided what emotion(s) you’d like to feel in this moment, and you’ve gained insight as to what you’ll need to do to feel this way, ACT on it! Focus only on things that are within your control and keep asking yourself quality questions until you finally find the answers you’re seeking!

For example, you decide, “I want to go for a walk and feel excited about it.” Yet, the only way you would feel excited is if your spouse or friend went with you. Since you cannot control the actions of another, consider what you can control and continue asking yourself, “What could I do to bring more excitement into my walk?” Keep asking yourself this question until you’ve gained at least two or three ideas. “I could listen to music, go to the library and rent an audiobook, or recite positive affirmations while I walk. Oh, I could also walk in place while watching a funny movie or the Travel Channel. Or, I could take the dog for a walk or go for a stroll in that park I always drive by.” The possibilities are endless once you step into a state of possibility and leave behind the limited thinking of “practicality.”

 

Here’s a movie you could watch while walking in your living room. It was a film guest-staring the late Dr. Wayne Dyer. It’s an inspiring movie that highlights many of the themes in this article and you will greatly benefit from watching this. I’m not sure how long it will be available for free, so make a point to view this soon (perhaps tonight!) www.drwaynedyer.com/the-shift-movie-watch-now

In review, at any moment in time, including right now, you have the ability to decide what and how you wish to feel. It doesn’t matter where you’re at, who you’re with, or what’s happening around you. YOU ultimately have final say-so over how you are feeling! Start asking yourself, “How do I want to feel in this moment?” Get intentional about what you CAN do, and remain mindful of where you’re thoughts are leading you.

The rest of my forties are going to be spectacular! What will the next five years be like for you?

 

Thanks for reading!

Tim Shurr, MA

 

3 Tips For Bringing Passion Into Your Life!

We all want to live with more passion, and today, our motivational expect Tim Shurr, is sharing three strategies to help us do just that! Watch now…

5 Lessons I Learned From Being A Dad!

Here’s some parenting advice I’ve learned from being a dad for the last 11 years. I wish I could say I knew all this from the beginning, but I didn’t. It took a lot of hard work on my end to break the bad habits I didn’t even realize I had!

It also took an incredible amount of love, patience, and support from my extraordinary wife, Stacey. All the inner struggles and uncomfortable feelings I went through (swallowing my pride, keeping my Ego in check, not making excuses, etc.) were worth it. I’ve got two amazing kids who will grow up to contribute in big ways because they believe they can!

Here’s a few lessons I learned. Perhaps it will help you. If you’re already doing this, good for you! If not, start today. You’ll be glad you did and so will your family!

  • Avoid teasing your kid(s). I grew up in a family that lovingly teased each other. The problem is even though you might think you’re being funny, the sarcasm can really hurt your child’s feelings. I’ve coached clients who struggled most of their lives due to hurtful words and comments made by parents and grandparents. Life is tough enough. They don’t need you to “toughen them up.” They need to know you are their biggest fan!
  • Show your kid(s) lots of affection. A hug, pat on the back, high-five, stopping everything you’re doing to make eye-contact for a few minutes, these are all non-verbal cues that let your child know s/he is important to you! Make sure they know every day that they are more important than your smartphone, laptop, and busy schedule!
  • If you’re going to yell, do it strategically. When adults yell, it’s usually a sign they have just lost control. I’d be patient and then lose it and start yelling. What stopped this was when I observed my 8-year old yelling at his 4-year old brother, just like his dad. Now when I raise my voice, it’s more controlled and on purpose. I rarely do this, and when I do, I use volume merely to get my boy’s attention (they can be loud!) Once I have their attention, I bring the volume back down but maintain the seriousness. I then physically direct them (walk my kid to the bathroom, point at the dishes that need put in the sink), rather than yelling orders from the couch or home office.
  • Hold your kid(s) accountable and be consistent! The key to developing any new habit is repetition and consistency. Your child needs to know what’s expected and be held responsible for that behavior every time. Otherwise, s/he get’s sent mixed messages. If I tell my kid “no” and then say “yes” because I’m too tired to argue, I’ve set both of us up for more pain and struggle down the road. Whole books are written on just this one point because it’s so important!
  • Tell your kid(s) what to do, instead of what not to do. If I tell my kid, “Don’t throw that toy” he’s going to throw it because his brain heard “throw the toy!” The human brain has difficulty understanding “negative suggestions.” Instead, express what you want to have happen. “Please put the toy over here or over there. You chose. Do it now.”

I could go on because I’ve learned so much about myself and life from being a father. But I’d rather get off the computer and go play with my boys. I hope you take this day to do the same with your kiddos. And while you’re at it, thank your wife for being awesome. She has a tough job too!

Sumo Boys1Tim, Max, and Aiden – 1st Day of School (Just Kidding)

Caring For The Caregivers!


Caring For The Caregivers

At some point in your life you are likely going to be a caregiver or need a caregiver. There are estimated to be 42 million family caregivers in America. That’s 1 out of 5 adults according to AARP.org

–  Caregivers are often parents with children who are now also taking care of a sick or elderly family member.

– Caregivers often feel like they are expected or obligated to take care of everyone else at the expense of themselves.

– They often feel badly or like they are letting people down if the don’t have the energy or strength to “do it all”.

– They often feel guilty if they want to take time off or do something for themselves.

– They often feel like they can’t or shouldn’t lean on others to help.

– They may compensate for lack of rest with comfort eating, smoking, caffeine  or other things that can be bad for them.


CAREGIVER TIPS

1. Feel good about taking care of yourself. 
 (It’s a tough job and you’re doing your best!)
2. Reach out for support. 
 (Connect with others, don’t isolate yourself.)
3. Make time to care for your own needs.
 (Take naps, listen to relaxation programs, eat healthier and walk.)

Bottom Line: It’s OK to take care of yourself. You’ve got a tough job that you didn’t ask for. So be kind to yourself, even if you get frustrated. That’s a natural response. Use the above tips, lean on others when you need help, and remember that YOUR life counts as well!

4 Most Common Forms of Dysfunctional Communication

Productivity expert, Tim Shurr, MA, shares the 4 most common forms of dysfunctional communication and the #1 way to get your message across to others! Plus learn what kind of a communicator you are! This can be a very eye opening segment and potentially help you reflect on your actions.

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